You will be a better person for watching these. (The only rule: currently active theme songs aren’t eligible.)
50. Spiral Zone
Bonus points for: Extreme wailing guitar.
49. Rainbow Brite
Short and sweet. Bonus points for: Slightly flat singing.
The highly regarded video game franchise with the lowly regarded cartoon adaptation.
Worst Catch Phrase Ever Bonus Video:
47. Street Sharks!
Bonus points for: Coining the term jawsome.
46. My Little Pony
Bonus points for: Excessive creepiness.
This theme song? More than meets the ear.
Decent song. Plus it’s rad when Monterey Jack smells cheese and goes cuckoo.
43. G.I. Joe
A real American Hero… made in China.
Slight deduction for: Song over end credits, talking over opening. Give us some music up front, Miss Lovelylocks!
41. Fat Albert
Hey hey hey!
40. The Smurfs
Bonus points for: Excessive exposition (2000 years pass during the opening explanation!) plus the rip-off factor. This manages to basically steal the name from Conan the Barbarian, most everything else from He-Man, plus the light saber (Sun sword? Thundarr, please.) from Star Wars.
Bonus points for: Sweet harmonies.
Bonus points for: Fabulous powers.
Bonus points for: Being excessively faithful to the original game. Power pellets, dude.
35. Count Duckula
Bonus points for: Excellent use of Vincent Price copycat.
Bonus points for: Celebrities morphing into cartoons.
Bonus points for: Thundering across the stars to save the universe from the Monster Minds. Jayce searches for his father to unite the Magic Root and lead his Lightning League to victory over the changing form of Saw Boss. Wheeled Warriors explode into battle – Lightning Strikes!
32. Hong Kong Phooey
Sublime covered it.
31. Ren & Stimpy
Actually just an awesome song.
Bonus points for: Real celebrity voices.
28. James Bond, Jr.
Yes, that’s correct. He’s James Bond, Jr. but the original James Bond is referenced as his uncle. I believe it’s a George Foreman type situation.
27. The Jetsons
Weirdly similar to the Simpsons theme. Slight deduction for: Not originally airing on Saturday morning.
Bonus points for: Swimming in a pool of gold coins.
The Ramones covered it.
24. Mister T
Bonus points for: Concise lyrics.
23. The Flintstones
Fred Flintstone – the Archie Bunker of the cartoon world. Slight deduction for: Not originally airing on Saturday Morning.
Bonus points for: Righteous drums.
Bonus points for: Recycling a popular character from a completely disconnected series.
Slight deduction for: False advertising. As a kid, I was pretty disappointed when spinach didn’t instantly give me huge muscles, and subsequently, the ability to maim the other kids of my choosing.
Slight deduction for: Song over end credits.
Crazy Kid Bonus Video:
Bonus explosion for: Excessive repetition of “Chuck Norris,” celebrity morphing into cartoon, and a real celebrity voice. (Plus Uncle Phil did some of the other voices.)
I can’t believe this is real Bonus Video:
These are not normal dinosaurs. They are 100% verified as extreme.
14. The Pink Panther
Awesome Danny Elfman song.
Short, sweet and fantastic.
11. Darkwing Duck
Let’s get dangerous.
Bonus points for: “From out of town” and “the secret scouts.”
This might be the hardest rocking one of them all. You will be singing it for the rest of the day.
These guys took tight harmonies to a whole new level.
Real Voices Bonus Video:
This one builds to an epic peak. Plus Rza sampled it.
These little muppets rode a Beach Boys style melody to the top of the Saturday Morning charts.
Mario and Luigi introduced hip-hop to the cartoon theme world.
Bonus points for: Concise lyrics.
Catchy melody + engrossing origin story + a party dude = Cowabunga.
Truly truly truly outrageous.
Jem Girls Bonus Video:
Four decades of kids can’t be wrong.