Ranking the New Shows: #10 – Royal Pains

Number 10 comes to us from the USA network – a fairly new entrant into the legitimate television drama game.

The show: “Royal Pains”
Synopsis: An unemployed doctor, Hank Lawson (Mark Feuerstein), and his sleazy brother Evan (Paulo Costanzo), enter the realm of the ultra-wealthy when a billionaire in the Hamptons hires Cliff as his concierge doctor.
Debuted: June 4, 2009
Our take: The key ingredients for a great show are here, but it doesn’t quite come together. The dialogue is quick and witty, and Feuerstein and Costanzo have some chemistry and are likeable as the leads. The premise, while not necessarily riveting, is open ended enough to allow a huge variety of stories. The show bogs itself down with some sentimental cheesiness here and there, though, that undermines its strengths. The good guys, even the loser brother, are a little too good. Nobody wants their source of sleazy humor to actually have a heart of gold. My only real complaint beyond that is that the medical details and jargon seem a little careless and melodramatic.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: Tighten it up. If this was just a little more focused on being entertaining and avoided those cheesy manipulative moments, I’d be a fan. Not every disease has to be a super obscure disaster, and the doctor doesn’t always have to ride in on a white horse to stop injustice and save lives left and right. If they made it a little more believable and emphasized the humor, it’d be a good show.

Instant Reaction: Nurse Jackie, “Daffodil” 6/06/09

This week on Nurse Jackie: Coop and Eddie get some toasted goodness from Quiznos.  Hellz yeah! Jackie helps a girl taking care of her sick mom. Also, a man rendered speechless by a stroke uses a flashcard to tell his wife to STFU.  On the whole, this might have been the most consistently entertaining episode so far.

Still, there are strange bits of slapstick comedy that I find jarring (Mrs. Akalitis tazing herself, for example). It breaks the reality of an otherwise believable show, and deflates the meaning more poignant moments. I’ve mentioned in past weeks that Coop (Peter Facinelli) is the comedic powerhouse of the show. Jackie’s nursing student, Zoey (Merritt Wever), is also beginning to provide a more subtle humor.  Both of these could be and should be used more liberally, especially in place of the lowbrow comedy that always falls flat.

The writers continue fumbling with both scale and pace. All of the major plotlines are in a holding pattern with no new developments. They were in a big rush to get the love triangle and daughter’s psych issues out, and now they’re dragging their feet.

And speaking of those psych issues, for a “medical” show, the psychology seems poorly researched.  Jackie’s daughter’s symptoms, which include obsessively watching tv news and circling her desk three times before sitting down so planes won’t crash, sound much more like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder than Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The dour drawings could easily be interpreted as depression.

Ranking the New Shows: #12 – Raising the Bar

Our pick for 12th best new show of the year is “Raising the Bar“, which is the only courtroom drama in the mix (and also the only one to feature Zack Morris).

The show: “Raising the Bar”
Synopsis: Facing off in court by day and hitting the town for cosmos at night, a group of assistant district attorneys and public defenders make strange bedfellows and brosephs in “Raising the Bar.”
Debuted: September 1, 2008
Our take: There’s something a little hard to swallow about this show’s premise at its most fundamental level. I just can’t quite buy the way everyone is more or less friends or at least really personally involved with each other. If they were all in one office it would still be a stretch, but they’re not, so it gets a bit silly. That said, Mark-Paul Gosselaar is a surprisingly charismatic lead (aside from his hair), and the court room scenes are mostly handled well enough. Court room dramas are not a particular interest of mine, but this has kept me engaged by taking a more reasonable and procedural approach rather than the melodramatic. In fact, I’ll go beyond that to say I’ve been particularly impressed with all of the guest actors playing witnesses. It says something about the quality of a production when they take such care in casting even the smallest roles.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: The show makes it hard to root for the DAs much, which undermines some of the drama. The romantic interest of the early episodes also left me a little cold. If they could balance these issues out, I might give it another chance, but like I said, I’m not a big fan of court room dramas to begin with.

Instant Reaction: Nurse Jackie, “School Nurse” 6/29/09

Week 4 for “Nurse Jackie” is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it’s not trying as hard as it was in the first couple of episodes, which I mean as a good thing. It’s less forced. On the other hand, I can already see it running the risk of getting boring.

In fact, nothing much has happened in the last two episodes. Jackie’s daughter is showing signs of some sort of mental health problem, but we already knew that. This lack of eventfulness highlights a bigger problem for the show.

Maybe the slow pace would be less of an issue if the show was more focused on the comedy. Nurse Jackie is more of a drama, however, and because of that I think it would be better as an hour-long show. In most cases, wanting a show to be longer is a good thing, but in Nurse Jackie’s case, I want it to be longer because it feels like nothing really happens. There isn’t enough funny to make it satisfying as a half hour comedy. In the dense world of a premium channel drama, 30 minutes is barely enough time to check in on all of the main characters, let alone establish legitimate dramatic interest.

All in all it’s a good show, but it needs more red meat.

Ranking the New Shows: #13 – Better Off Ted

Number 13 is up, and is one of only five sitcoms (and the only not on a premium channel).

The show: “Better Off Ted“
Synopsis: Ted is the head of Research and Development for one of the largest corporations in the country. He deals with zany scientists, a crazy boss, and a wacky girl that steals all the office’s creamer! It’s “Arrested Development” set in a corporate environment, sans all of the funny cast members. (They should have called it “Arrested Research and Development”.)
Debuted: March 18th, 2009
Our take: This might be the most damningly lukewarm phrase you can give a comedy: “Better Off Ted” is mildly amusing. It’s shooting for quirky and silly but has a severe lazy streak. For example, Phil’s (Jonathan Slavin) high pitched squeal that surfaced as a side effect of his experimental cryogenic freezing was maybe-kinda-sorta funny the first time… and not at all the 438 times after that. Casting Portia de Rossi as the shallow, cold, robotic corporate boss is equally lazy. They basically took her role from “Arrested Development” and crossed it with her role in “Ally McBeal.” In fairness, it’s consistently clever, and never suffers from the cringe/groan-inducing clunkers that sink most sitcoms. It’s a watchable show, but it doesn’t make me laugh.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: If they did “Arrested Development” justice, I’d watch. “Arrested Development” was full of surprises and a wide range of jokes- from George Michael’s awkwardness to Tobias’ blustering double entendres. “Better Off Ted” is one dimensional and repetitive in comparison.

Ranking the New TV Shows: #15 – The Life & Times of Tim

We’re back with Number 15, which happens to be our only animated offering of the year.

The show: “The Life and Times of Tim”
Synopsis: Tim is a normal guy (for a cartoon), who finds himself in many an awkward/inappropriate situation. It’s kinda like an animated “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” or “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
Debuted: June 2008
Our take: The first episode has a few laugh out loud moments, but there seems to be a lack of editing that drags almost every scene down. It’s clear that much of the show is improvised, which is a blessing and a curse. (If there’s a script at all, I’d guess it’s very loose.) The blessing comes in the form of natural delivery that gives the dialogue an awkward edge. Many of the funniest part of the show are a direct product of that. The curse, on the other hand, is essentially dead air. The stammering, the jokes that fall flat, the bits of small talk- all of it is left in, which leads to scenes that are too long and huge gaps between laughs.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: It needs to be quicker, tighter, and more disciplined. “The Life and Times of Tim” would benefit greatly from an editor that can discern the funny from the not. “Raped by a bum” is funny once or twice, and then it’s time to move on.

Ranking the New TV Shows: #16 – Lie To Me

The countdown continues with another piece o’ poo from Fox. “Lie to Me” is Fox’s “The Mentalist” imitation, hoping to ride the quirky procedural formula to similar ratings success. (To be fair, ABC did also come out with something of a “Mentalist” rip-off this spring in “Castle,” which is a little higher up in our rankings.)

The show: “Lie to Me”
Synopsis: Dr. Cal Lightman (Tim Roth) is an expert in facial micro-expressions and utilizing them to determine whether or not someone is lying. He and his team of fellow lie-ologists use their powers to fight crime.
Debuted: January 21, 2009 on Fox
Our take: The human lie detector idea is not a bad one. Toward the beginning of the episode, Lightman illustrates a point about facial expressions by showing real clips (such as Kato Kaelin at the O.J. trial) where people’s briefest facial expressions betray what they are saying and give a glimpse into what they really feel. I have to say – it was pretty impressive. From there, unfortunately, the show makes the mistake of getting a bit expository with its explanations of ticks and tells, though. In fact, it over explains pretty much everything, with characters needlessly recapping what someone has just explained to them. It also failed on a character and story level. The humor fell way flat, and the characters aside from Lightman were much more annoying than the quirky charm they must’ve been shooting for (something that “The Mentalist” does pretty well, I might add). In the end it comes across not so much as style over substance but lie detector jargon over both style and substance. I finished the pilot with no intention of going back for more.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: The fact that “The Shield” creator Shawn Ryan is taking over the reigns in season 2 is an excellent one. As I said, the basic premise is not bad. The flaws may be too severe to fix, though.

Ranking the New TV Shows: #17 – Mental

The Final Countdown. Over the next 17 days we will unveil our rankings for the new TV shows we tried out over the 2008-2009 TV season, starting with the shit sandwiches and working our way up to the filet mignon. (To simplify, we decided to not consider shows that have already been canceled.)

The show: “Mental”
Synopsis: A cocky British doctor (I didn’t bother to learn his name.) arrives at a mental hospital to take the head psychiatrist gig. I bet you can’t guess whether he “plays by the rules” or follows his gut. Let’s just say that when he sits around the house, he rips off the show “House.”
Debuted: May 26, 2009 on Fox
Our take: I only made it about 15 minutes into “Mental.” The scene that pushed me away for good? The arrogant new doctor is at his first meeting with the higher ups at the hospital. He stands in front of the board room table, surrounded by important people in suits. He dives right in with some “Dead Poet’s Society” style pseudo-profound speech about how “the patients are out there” as he points to the hallway. He is also dressed really casual (presumably because he is ridiculously cool) and shuffling a deck of cards throughout the speech. (Holy shit, that’s pretty nonchalant for a big meeting like this!) At this point, I vomited all over the TV screen.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: If the crazy people in the hospital would rise up and murder not only the British doctor but the writers whom conceived the character and the executives that gave it the green light, I would consider giving it another chance.

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