Food Fight, Round 1: Top Chef Masters vs. Next Food Network Star

The Food Network hates “Top Chef.” Apparently so much so that they’ve forbidden their on-air talent from appearing on Bravo’s highly successful food show. Beloved judge Ted Allen, for example, will make no more appearances on TC now that he’s landed his own show, “Food Detectives,” on Food. When asked for the reason behind this, Tom Colicchio referred to Food Network’s “little policy.”

Get ready for food puns: This “beef” between networks adds a little “bitterness” to the competition between their reality shows, both of which “served up” “fresh” seasons this week – the fifth season of “The Next Food Network Star” and the debut of “Top Chef Masters,” an all-star spin off. So how do they compare? Allow me to achy break this down.

Judging the Judges:

“Top Chef Masters”: “Masters” brings fresh faces (and an alternative scoring system) to the judging table rather than using the regular “Top Chef” crew. Reality shows are largely built on familiarity (“pack your knives and go,” the same pieces of music every week, etc.), so there is some risk in changing things up like this. After 5 seasons in 3 years, however, the franchise runs the risk of getting stale – these new judges are a welcome breath of fresh air.

The new regulars are “New York” magazine’s insatiable critic, Gael Greene, and food author and editor, James Oseland. London food critic, Jay Rayner, joins them in the series premier. Oseland dominates the discussion and provides the most colorful comments. His lisping enthusiasm is balanced nicely by the dour Brit Rayner. Greene actually doesn’t seem to say much.

The new scoring system uses a 5 star scale, with each judge getting a vote after both the quickfire and elimination challenge and the sums totaled at the end. It’s interesting to have transparency in the voting process. Perhaps even more interesting – new host Kelly Choi, despite having much more food background and experience than Padma Lakshmi, does not get a vote. “Top Chef” certainly implies that Padma has a say in results.

Score: /5

“Next Food Network Star”: Here the faces remain the same. Bobby Flay serves as one member of the selection committee with some of the hosting duties as well. One of the network’s biggest stars, Flay is likeable and comes across as the most genuine of the 3 judges. Adding him as a regular judge (which started last year) was a big plus. The other two members of the committee are network executives Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogelson.

You hear a lot of trash talk about TV executives, and now we know why. To put it in food terms, Bob and Susie are phony balogna. Their judge’s table comments sound as if they’re being read directly off a producer’s cue card. Every (scripted) word is setting up season long stories for each contestant, with catch phrases and talking points repeated throughout the season. (This is somewhat ironic considering “you’re too fake” is among their favorite complaints.) I don’t believe it when they laugh. I don’t believe it when they make puppy dog eyes at a contestant’s sob story. I don’t even believe it when they smile.

Score: /5 (Bobby Flay gets all 1.5 stars to himself.)

Judging the Contestants:

“Top Chef Masters”: The masters are comprised of wicked awesome chefs from around the globe. The star studded group includes a couple of familiar names in Hubert Keller, Rick Bayless, John Besh, and Wylie Dufresne, all former guest judges from the original series.

The contestants of the original show are often confident bordering on arrogant. The masters are a more mature lot. The confidence is still there, but these guys are secure enough to avoid the ego outbursts. They still take the challenges seriously, but they also look like they’re having a lot more fun than the non-masters. (The winnings go to charity, which does likely take some of the pressure off.)

All of the week 1 contestants were interesting. Frenchman Hubert Keller is the one that will move on, and he’s probably the coolest dude of the lot. He says if he wasn’t a chef, he’d be a DJ, and there are funny photos to prove it.

Score: /5

“Next Food Network Star”: There are a couple of chefs among those vying to win their own TV show, but most of the contestants are just people that want to be on TV and like food in that order. People with little ever hope of fame and fortune have their one chance here.

Their desperation shows. In some this manifests itself as crippling anxiety that derails their hopes early. Most just go way over the top. They may be aiming for Rachael Ray style peppiness, but they only succeed in being obnoxious, smarmy and essentially unwatchable.

Judging by the first episode, a contender for this year’s most annoying will be Brett August. His version of “high energy” seems to be talking to everyone like they’re children. It’s not that he’s a Gordon Ramsay style confrontational jerk – in fact, on a surface level he is being nice – he just never treats any of the people around him like they’re his peers.

Score: /5

Tallying the scores:

Top Chef Masters: Though perhaps a slightly watered down version of the original, “Masters” still works because the people involved have a passion for what they’re doing. The focus remains on the craft of cooking, and that is still interesting to watch.

Score: /10

Next Food Network Star: I am a fan of several Food Network shows. In fact, “Good Eats” really sparked my interest in food shows in the first place. There is something fundamentally demeaning about the way “Next Food Network Star” is handled, though, that makes me not really like any of the people involved. The contestants are too eager to sell their souls (which they may or may not have ever had), and the judges (outside of Flay) lick their chops wolfishly watching everyone grovel. Looking back, it was like winning the lottery to find a natural entertainer in Guy Fieri through this process. I posit that he will be the only winner to have real success.

Score: /10