Grading the Cast of Game of Thrones, Part 2

Without further ado, a continuation of our grading of the cast of Game of Thrones.

Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister
Grade: A+

Comments: We’ve been fans of Peter Dinklage since The Station Agent, so we figured he’d be awesome as Tyrion. And he is.

Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister
Grade: A-

Comments: Dance’s portrayal of Tywin Lannister left me ice cold. Which is good because he’s a frigid old bastard.

Nikolai Coster-Waldau as Jaime Lannister
Grade: A+

Comments: We were worried that no one would be able to do Jaime Lannister, one of the most complex characters in the series, justice. Coster-Waldau melds Tywin’s coldness and Tyrions charming wit perfectly.

Lena Headey as Queen Cersei Lannister
Grade: C

Comments: Cersei Lannister is the role we’re most disappointed with after season 1. More than anyone else, Headey seems to be leaning towards the Lord of the Rings stoicism that takes all the dirty crazy fun out of George R. R. Martin’s series. Still, Headey will have a chance to redeem herself in future seasons, we think.

Jack Gleeson as Prince Joffrey Baratheon
Grade: A-

Comments: Gleeson gets a minus because he’s another one that’s so hate-able, he’s hard to like.

Mark Addy as King Robert Baratheon
Grade: A

Comments: Addy nailed the boozing, whoring King Baratheon and delivered and few laughs along the way.

Aiden Gillen as Petyr Baelish
Grade: A+

Comments: Gillen is another familiar face (The Wire) that delivered the effing goods. Baelish is a much more believable sociopath than the evil wizards of your average fantasy tale. Gillen is convincing as both the charming manipulator and as the snaky creep underneath.

Conleth Hill as Lord Varys
Grade: A-

Comments: Hill is exactly as we imagined Lord Varys, but the nature of his role means he doesn’t get any of the juicy scenes.

Rory McCann as Sandor “The Hound” Clegane
Grade: B+

Comments: Again, McCann fits the part but The Hound didn’t get much screen time in season 1. We’re hoping for more in future seasons.

Jerome Flynn as Bronn the Sellsword
Grade: A

Comments: Flynn is one of a few to have elevated his role, in our opinion. Bronn isn’t particularly memorable in the books, but his scenes with Tyrion were some of the high points of season 1.

Sibel Kekilli as Shae the whore
Grade: B

Comments: I don’t recall Shae being quite so sassy in the books, so I’m not sure if that’s Kekilli’s own spin on the role or something that was in the script. Either way, her screen time was limited so we’ll leave her with decent marks until season 2.

Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo
Grade: A-

Comments: I had my doubts, since Momoa is a Stargate alum. He only had a few lines, but he brought an intimidating on-screen presence that brought the Khal Drogo from the books to life.

Emilia Clarke as Daenerys Targaryen
Grade: A

Comments: In season 1, Daenerys makes a transition from a shaky, vulnerable girl to khaleesi. Clarke was so shaky early on that I was worried, but in the end it totally worked.

Harry Lloyd as Viserys Targaryen
Grade: A+

Comments: It’s almost too bad that Viserys is such a short-lived character, because Harry Lloyd rocked so hard. But Viserys is such a prick we wouldn’t want him around any longer than necessary.

Ian McElhinney as Barristan Selmy
Grade: A

Comments: When I read the books, I had a hard time imagining an aging knight who was still sort of a bad ass. McElhinney showed me what one looked like.

Grading the Cast of Game of Thrones, Part 1

With the first season of Game of Thrones over and another two weeks before the fifth book, A Dance with Dragons, comes out we’re not quite sure what the hell to do with ourselves.

In an attempt to stave off withdrawal, we decided to grade the cast of Game of Thrones. As a whole, the cast gets an A, but it wouldn’t be much of an article if we gave every actor an A. Any criticism below is sheer nitpickery.

Sean Bean as Lord Eddard Stark
Grade: B+

Comments: Ned is such an understated character that it was hard for Bean to really blow us away, which some of the other cast members did.

Michelle Fairley as Catelyn Stark
Grade: C

Comments: Much criticized on the ‘net for looking older than superfans preferred, our gripe is less about age and more that Fairley’s performance was a little on the melodramatic side. She plays every scene like it’s Life. Or. Death., which means the real life or death scenes just kinda blend in with the rest.

Richard Madden as Robb Stark
Grade: B

Comments: Madden did a solid job handling Robb Stark’s transition from carefree kid to head of the Stark clan.

Sophie Turner as Sansa Stark
Grade: A-

Comments: Turner was one we weren’t quite sure about at the start of the season, but she’d won us over by the time Joffrey forced her to look at Ned’s head on a stick.

Maisie Williams as Arya Stark
Grade: A+

Comments: Williams had big shoes to fill, playing one of our favorite characters from the books. She didn’t disappoint.

Isaac Hempstead-Wright as Bran Stark
Grade: B

Comments: It seemed like we didn’t spend as much time with Bran in the show as in the book, but Hempstead-Wright did well with the screen time he had.

Kit Harington as Jon Snow
Grade: C

Comments: We’re still on the fence about Harington. He’s not bad, but Jon Snow is another favorite character, and we’re left wanting more from him. If he could stop making that confused doofus face so often, it might help.

John Bradley as Samwell Tarly
Grade: A-

Comments: Bradley was excellent for the most part, but there were a few moments that bordered on cartoon sheepishness. He was definitely entertaining, though.

Alfie Allen as Theon Greyjoy
Grade: B-

Comments: We hate Theon so much that we refuse to give him more than a B minus. It actually could be great acting since we’re not supposed to like Theon, but we’ll have to wait and see how things go next season.

Natalia Tena Osha the Wildling
Grade: A

Comments: What separates Game of Thrones from other fantasy (i.e. Lord of the Rings) is the lack of prim and proper. There are no pristine fairy castles in GoT. Even the good guys are kinda dirty and scruffy. Tena’s performance as Osha exemplified that grit and color well.

James Cosmo as Commander Jeor Mormont
Grade: A

Comments: Cosmo is pretty much exactly how we imagined Commander Mormont. Stern. Stern, but fair.

Iain Glen as Jorah Mormont
Grade: A+

Comments: Whether it’s the nature of the character or Glen’s own presence, Jorah Mormont stands out as Daenerys’ wise adviser.

Kate Dickie as Lysa Arryn
Grade: A

Comments: As creepy in the show as she is in the books, Dickie’s protrayal of Lysa Arryn is perfect crazy mommy, fake boob and all.

 

Lino Facioli as Robin Arryn
Grade: A

Comments: Congratulations parents of Lino Facioli, your kid freaks me out. I guess that’s a good thing, considering the role.

 

Bam Margera crying at the scene of Ryan Dunn’s death

I also dug up a few of my favorite Ryan Dunn moments:

Ranking the seasons: Dexter

The fifth installment of Showtime’s serial killer saga, “Dexter”, delivered the highest ratings yet, and the show was already the most watched in network history, so we can probably assume the series will go as long as star Michael C. Hall remains interested.  (Fun fact: Hall’s marriage to co-star Jennifer Carpenter [AKA Dexter's sister Deb] is apparently headed for divorce, which could add some extra tension to the set as both will be back next year.)  But, ratings aside, how did this season stack up to the rest on a scale of 1 to awesome? Let’s rank them shits.

1. Season One
Primary Season Long Arc: The Ice Truck Killer
Dexter’s Love Interest: Rita
Deb’s Love Interest: Rudy
The Gist: “Tonight’s the night.” The bright colors of Miami  juxtapose with the detached, sardonic voice over – the Dexter deadpan.  Enter Dexter Morgan – blood spatter forensics expert by day, blood spattering serial killer by night.  He’s cleaning up the streets of Florida the old fashioned way – by dumping garbage bags full of the mutilated bodies of criminals into the Atlantic.  The clash of styles between the emotionless Dexter and the flair of Miami’s culture – from loud music to loud shirts – were still new and exciting in the first season.   These style elements eventually became routine, but what really cements the debut season as a clear number 1 was a plot that was mysterious not only on the surface level of the twists and turns of the Ice Truck Killer case, but in terms of digging into Dexter’s past and uncovering something that fundamentally changes his interpretation of his own identity.  It was almost an origin story that pieced itself together in flashbacks over the course of the season. The writers would try to repeat this in future seasons but would ultimately fail to satisfy.

2. Season Four
Primary Season Long Arc: The Trinity Killer
Dexter’s Love Interest: Rita (married)
Deb’s Love Interest: Anton and Lundy
The Gist: Dexter’s 4th installment is best known for the shock of the season’s cliffhanger ending – Dexter returning home to find his wife, Rita, murdered in the bathtub.  The season also had another shocking death earlier in the year as Agent Lundy is shot and killed in the middle of a conversation with Deb.  It’s probably those dramatic exits of 2 longtime characters that push this season just above the rest of the pack, but John Lithgow made a decent serial killer in his guest stint as well.

3. Season Three
Primary Season Long Arc: DA Miguel Prado gets hands on with some perps
Dexter’s Love Interest: Rita (engaged)
Deb’s Love Interest: Anton
The Gist: The 3rd season is nuts.  Somehow Dexter becomes a serial killing mentor to district attorney Miguel Prado, played by Jimmy Smits.  Despite the goofiness of the DA/serial killer tandem-ing, I actually liked Smits.  Eventually, though, the conflict that arises between him and Dexter gets a little melodramatic and seems to drag on for too long before it finally resolves itself in a completely predictable fashion.  A lot of the side stories really started to get annoying this year, too – like Deb banging the partially skinned club musician,  Anton (David Ramsey).  During those scenes I was hoping Miguel and Dexter would burst into my actual house and put me out of my misery.

4. Season Five
Primary Season Long Arc: Jordan Chase and friends
Dexter’s Love Interest: Lumen
Deb’s Love Interest: Quinn
The Gist: When I first heard that Julia Stiles was going to guest star on Dexter’s 5th season, I said: “The bad news is that Julia Stiles is guest starring on Dexter next season.  The good news is that Dexter will murder her. “ More bad news:  He didn’t!  Instead he had sexual relations with her several times and helped her overcome a lot of her PTSD issues through the healing power of stab-murdering a bunch of bad guys.  At this point some of the show’s staple elements are really starting to fall flat.  Dexter’s conversations with imaginary (and/or ghost) Harry have progressed from interesting in season 1 to not so interesting in season 3 and 4 to actually pretty annoying in season 5, for one example.

5. Season Two
Primary Season Long Arc: The Bay Harbor Butcher
Dexter’s Love Interest: Rita and Lila
Deb’s Love Interest: Agent Lundy
The Gist: Dexter’s bags of bodies are discovered and the heat is on. Everyone is looking for the Bay Harbor Butcher, including the FBI. Dexter also starts going to alocholics anonymous type meetings where he explores the idea of his “dark passenger” and befriends a crazy person with a ridiculous East End accent named Lila.  Dexter wastes little time as he and Lila really hit it off, by which I mean Lila takes her clothes off and Dexter hits it.  Later he kills her.  Also, she was super annoying, and that’s the sole reason this season ranks last.

Inside HBO’s Game of Thrones

Grading 2010′s New Shows, Part 1

“Louie” – FX, Tuesday 11 PM

Synopsis: Part autobiographical, documentary style show about the life of Louis CK, a misanthropic middle aged divorced comedian, part surreal weirdness… interspersed with bits of real stand-up footage.
Our take: “Louie” is by far our favorite new show of the season. The stand-up alone makes it funnier than almost anything else on TV. Early on, the show struggled to mash together all of the elements, but as the season went on, it really started to come together. It seamlessly transitions from the profound and meaningful to purely absurd filth like nothing else we’ve ever seen.
Grade: A

“The Event” – NBC, Monday 9 PM

Synopsis: The first episode is not the event. The second episode is not the event.
Our take: They should have called this show The Lost V-Files. They’ve blended a lot of elements of “Lost”, “V“, and “The X-Files“, to create a sort of mediocre science fiction soup.  (Which, coincidentally, is one of Emeril’s least popular recipes.) There’s a lot of jumping back and forth in time, and most of the dramatic interest is derived from the writers not telling you exactly what’s going on. Their hope being that you’ll be curious to find out what’s going on. Despite its hamfisted effort, I was a little curious. “The Event” fails, however, at creating even one character worth rooting for, so I doubt I’ll be back for episode 3.
Grade: C

“No Ordinary Family” – ABC, Tuesday 8 PM

 

Synopsis: When a vacation to Brazil goes awry, and by “awry” I mean their plane crashes into a glowing river, one ordinary family develops super powers.
Our take: “No Ordinary Family” is not at all something I’d watch, but for what it’s going for – sort of a watered down “Modern Family” crossed with “Heroes” – I think it does a decent job. I’ll even admit to chuckling a few times. My only complaint is that Michael Chiklis was laying the cheesy kid’s movie dad stuff on a little thick. In the comedy scenes it worked well, but in the dramatic family scenes, it didn’t seem to fit.
Grade: B-

“Rubicon” – AMC, Sunday 9 PM

Synopsis: Will Travers cracks codes and analyzes government intelligence for a living. When his boss/father-in-law is killed, he’s sucked into a whirlwind of conspiracy and intrigue.
Our take: In fairness, the bar for AMC shows is extremely high. “Breaking Bad” and “Mad Men” are arguably two of the best shows on TV now and ever. But for me, the “Rubicon” intrigue is wearing a little thin with the turtle speed pace the show has set for its mystery. To illustrate the slowness, it was ten episodes before the two leads (Will and Katherine Rhumor) finally met up, so everything from episodes 2-9 was at best a baby step and at worst, irrelevant. The two most amusing characters, Miles, the nutty analyst and Kale Ingram, the dour boss, are almost distractions from the main plot. It’s good enough that I’ll keep watching, but the pace is frustrating.
Grade: B+

“Hawaii Five-O” – CBS, Monday 10 PM

Synopsis: Two cops with enormous capped teeth fight terror on the front lines… in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Also Jin from “Lost” and Boomer from “Battlestar Galactica” are there.
Our take: I made it about ten or fifteen minutes before I had my fill of Alex O’Loughlin’s faux badassness. He’s still the guy from that J-Lo movie to me. For a network show, the action scenes were pretty impressive.
Grade: D

Things I thought during Survivor Nicaragua: 9/15/10

- Every time Jeff Probst uttered the words “Medallion of Power,” I peed a little bit. He spoke of the medallion in a reverent, almost Gandalf-ish, tone. Clearly this thing is going to be like Link’s power bracelet, the boots of force from Wizards and Warriors and one of Mario’s hallucinogenic mushrooms rolled into one.

-NFL Coach Jimmy Johnson clearly trained for Survivor by locking himself into a tanning bed for 2 weeks. Seriously, he is officially the first 66 year old man to glow the same shade as Snooki.

-It’s also pretty clear that fellow old team member, Marty, is deeply disappointed that he won’t be the awesome alpha leader of the tribe with a Super Bowl winning coach around.

-Another oldie, Holly, sounds pretty much exactly like Sarah Palin.

-Switching to the young folk for a moment, the big dude with dark hair, Shannon, seems like a cross between Burton from the Pearl Islands, Silas from Africa and Bobby John from Guatemala… except more obnoxious than all 3 combined.

-Final thought: Lotta sack blurrin’ going on already this year. Yep. We haven’t seen this much below the waist blurriness since Amanda Kimmel’s ass blurred its way through the wilds of China.

Breaking Bad as an ABC Sitcom

First Game of Thrones Teaser from HBO

Unnecessary Censorship and Hanso Training Video for the Lost Finale

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