Things I thought during Survivor Nicaragua: 9/15/10

- Every time Jeff Probst uttered the words “Medallion of Power,” I peed a little bit. He spoke of the medallion in a reverent, almost Gandalf-ish, tone. Clearly this thing is going to be like Link’s power bracelet, the boots of force from Wizards and Warriors and one of Mario’s hallucinogenic mushrooms rolled into one.

-NFL Coach Jimmy Johnson clearly trained for Survivor by locking himself into a tanning bed for 2 weeks. Seriously, he is officially the first 66 year old man to glow the same shade as Snooki.

-It’s also pretty clear that fellow old team member, Marty, is deeply disappointed that he won’t be the awesome alpha leader of the tribe with a Super Bowl winning coach around.

-Another oldie, Holly, sounds pretty much exactly like Sarah Palin.

-Switching to the young folk for a moment, the big dude with dark hair, Shannon, seems like a cross between Burton from the Pearl Islands, Silas from Africa and Bobby John from Guatemala… except more obnoxious than all 3 combined.

-Final thought: Lotta sack blurrin’ going on already this year. Yep. We haven’t seen this much below the waist blurriness since Amanda Kimmel’s ass blurred its way through the wilds of China.