The Acolytes: Underground Horror from Down Under

Part serial killer thriller, part good teens gone bad, Australian indie “Acolytes” is the kind of horror movie they should be making more of. I’m pretty hard to please when it comes to this genre, and I was pleasantly surprised by this one.

Mark (Seb Gregory) wanders into the woods one day and spies a man burying something. He and his friends James (Josh Payne) and Chasely (Hannah Morgan Lawrence) decide to unearth the buried treasure, but instead of money, they discover the body of a young woman.

Here’s where the movie takes a turn for the “Kids do the darndest things when they find a body”, and I start wondering if I ever really want to procreate. Instead of reporting the body to the police, Mark and James cook up a scheme to find the murderer and blackmail him into killing an evil scumbag kiddie rapist (Michael Dorman) who has recently been released from prison. Schemes like this in thrillers never play out as planned, so things go from bad to worse pretty quickly for Mark, James, and Hannah.

TV Casualties Rating: out of 5

Run Time: 91 minutes

Directed by: Jon Hewitt

Written by: Shayne Armstrong, Shane Krause

Starring: Sebastian Gregory, Joshua Payne, Hannah Mangan Lawrence

Theatrical Release: 05/15/08

DVD Release: 07/28/09

Production Budget: $4 million

Domestic Gross: N/A

Metacritic Score: N/A

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 83%

With a small budget of only four million dollars, “Acolytes” has a great visual style and excellent performances by the cast, especially considering their age. Unlike most teen horror flicks, the characters in “Acolytes” are handled as real people instead of hash marks on a killer’s bed post.

You’ve probably seen movies that have one twist too many. The theatrical release of this movie has four or five too many- so many twists piled on top of one another is overkill and takes away from the overall impact. The ending is a bit of a cliché for a thriller, which is the biggest let down of all. (The DVD features two alternate endings.)

Overall, “Acolytes” is a movie I would certainly recommend to fans of the horror/thriller genre. It’s dark and disturbing and has just the right kind of jump-out-of-your-seat tension. The DVD became available in the U.S. today.

Instant Reaction: Nurse Jackie, “Steak Knife” & “Pupil”, 7/20 & 7/27

I must have gotten through with the firm talking-to I gave Nurse Jackie last time around, because things are finally starting to happen. On the romantic front, Eddie tries to give Jackie a bracelet in honor of their one-year anniversary. It doesn’t play out so well- Jackie clearly doesn’t remember the anniversary, nor does she seem to really want to even acknowledge it. This leads to Jackie and Eddie’s first fight, and Eddie lets her have it, suggesting she only shows interest in him when he’s giving her drugs. This is the first real conflict in the show and the first time anyone has confronted Jackie about anything. So far, it’s one of the most compelling moments of the season.

The plot thickens further when Eddie discovers that Jackie has a daughter (of course we know she has two AND a husband…) after Coop flaps those gossipy lips of his. So far it’s a non-issue, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a can of worms in the Eddie-Jackie storyline in coming weeks. I do find it a liiiiiittle bit unbelievable that someone would be able to do such a stellar job of keeping her family a secret from most of her coworkers, but hey, it’s tv. If it’s well written, I’ll buy almost anything.

There’s more development with the side characters, as well- Mrs. Akalitus finds an abandoned baby in the ER and instead of turning it over to child services, stays the night in her office with it. Zoey, after watching a show about pupils on tv, discovers that one of the temp nurses is on drugs (irony!!), and Dr. O’Hara has a bit of a meltdown over her personal life.

After a mid-season slump, it looks to me like Nurse Jackie is finding it’s groove.

Dexter, Season 4 Trailer!

Here’s the trailer for Season 4 of Showtime’s Dexter that was screened at Comic-Con!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-rs5hQ6gpM

From the TV Casualties Cookbook: Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Icing

What goes better with TV than food?  Especially food of the sugar coated variety!
If you’re going to be a fat ass couch potato, you might as well get there eating awesome food.

This recipe was originally from Bon Appétit, but I’ve made some improvements.  Take my advice and don’t go fouling it up with raisins – or worse – nuts.

Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Icing

Ingredients
Cake:

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (or a mix of nutmeg, ginger, and allspice)
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup yogurt
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 4 large eggs
• 3 cups grated peeled carrots (about 10 average sized carrots)
• (optional) 2 tablespoons crystallized ginger

Icing:

• 10 ounces cream cheese (if you only have 8 ounces, substitute an additional 4 TB of butter)
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F and set out the cream cheese and butter for the icing so it can get nice and squishy soft.
Grease two 9-inch-diameter cake pans. Whisk flour, baking soda, salt and spices in medium bowl to blend. Whisk sugar, oil, and yogurt in large bowl until well blended. Whisk in eggs 1 at a time. Add flour mixture and stir until blended. Stir in carrots and crystallized ginger. Divide batter between prepared pans.
Bake cakes until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 30-35 minutes. Cool cakes in pans 15 minutes. Turn out onto racks and let cool completely.
Using electric mixer, beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl until light and fluffy. Add powdered sugar and beat at low speed until well blended. Beat in maple syrup and vanilla. Chill until just firm enough to spread, 30 minutes.
Place 1 cake layer on platter. Spread with about 1/3 of the icing. Top with second layer. Spread remaining icing over entire cake. Garnish with cinnamon or crystallized ginger (optional).
We think this cake is really best after it’s been refrigerated (not that we can wait).

Ranking the New Shows: #9 – Fringe

Of all of Fox’s recent attempts at the science fiction genre, “Fringe” looks like the most likely to succeed. It made number 9 on our list of best new shows.

The show: “Fringe”
Synopsis: Remember the “The X-Files“?
Debuted: September 9th, 2008
Our take: “The X-Files“ plus insane doctor equals awesome. Some of the time. John Noble carries this show as the mad scientist Walter Bishop. His absurd comments and non sequiturs add an element of quirky comedy to what would otherwise be a crappy cop drama with aliens and monsters. Not only does he make me laugh out loud several times an episode, but the show relies on him to deliver huge chunks of exposition to sell the “scientific” explanation of the disease/monster/wereporcupine of the week to the audience (with little help from the script).
This leads me to the main problem, which is that the story of the week element is extremely formulaic. And the formula is a pretty mediocre one. Even if I suspend belief to swallow the week’s pseudo-scientific disaster, the reactions of the characters and their subsequent solutions are much too cozy for me to buy. (How many times are they going to download images from a dead person’s brain or shove Olivia back into the Sensory Deprivation Chamber?) The season long story arc has compelling aspects but gets buried, and the suspense in general is lacking.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: I’ll keep watching for John Noble, and I do see some potential in the show as a whole, but I’ll never be a devoted fan until they invest more in the long term plot.

Handmade Awesomeness: Harry Potter Edition

Wizards and muggles alike are gearing up for the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series. We commemorate the occasion with a collection of magical handmade HP goods!

bottlecap necklace by MarianBlack83

copper wand by CreativeEtching

exploding frog soap by HowardsHome

Horcrux locket by TheClayPony

Slytherin tunic top by SmarmyClothes

house badges by LittleMommaErin

lightning bolt bottle pendant by Kitcameo

Quidditch broom by BROOMCHICK

Gryffindor scarf by missgillian

Golden Snitch necklace by 2west

Pygmy Puff by missjahn

Instant Reaction: Nurse Jackie, “Tiny Bubbles” 6/13/09

In this week’s episode, Paula, a former friend and coworker of Jackie’s returns to the hospital. She’s dying of cancer and has been given only a week or so to live. With little more than a *wink wink*, she convinces Jackie (and the rest of the staff) to help her euthanize herself.

The issue of euthanasia is handled with such nonchalance, that I wonder if we’re supposed to believe that in the “Nurse Jackie” world, this is a common occurrence. The writers are apparently aware of this snafu, so they have Eddie the Pharmacist rebuke Zoey the Nursing Student for suggesting it’s some sort of “rite of passage”. Well excuuuuuse me, princess! It’s a little contradictory for the euthanasia plan to come together so quickly and then insist that this doesn’t normally happen.

Also on this week’s agenda is the revelation that Coop’s parents are lesbians. Despite the fact that two more-than-capable actresses were cast as Coop’s Two Moms (Blythe Danner and Swoosie Kurtz), I’m more than a little afraid that we’re in for some poorly handled mommy-melodrama in the weeks to come.

This week really highlights “Nurse Jackie’s” main flaw- a lack of dramatic (or any) focus. The writers continue to inch away from the love-triangle/addiction plot introduced in the pilot and bog everything down with subplots that are not particularly compelling. On top of that, the humor is a lot less sharp. Last week, there was some way over-the-top slapstick (which I didn’t like either). This week, I don’t think I laughed once.

“Nurse Jackie” is at the halfway point in it’s first season. It’s gone downhill after a promising start, but I’m hoping it can recapture some of the excitement of the first two episodes as the season concludes.

Ranking the New Shows: #10 – Royal Pains

Number 10 comes to us from the USA network – a fairly new entrant into the legitimate television drama game.

The show: “Royal Pains”
Synopsis: An unemployed doctor, Hank Lawson (Mark Feuerstein), and his sleazy brother Evan (Paulo Costanzo), enter the realm of the ultra-wealthy when a billionaire in the Hamptons hires Cliff as his concierge doctor.
Debuted: June 4, 2009
Our take: The key ingredients for a great show are here, but it doesn’t quite come together. The dialogue is quick and witty, and Feuerstein and Costanzo have some chemistry and are likeable as the leads. The premise, while not necessarily riveting, is open ended enough to allow a huge variety of stories. The show bogs itself down with some sentimental cheesiness here and there, though, that undermines its strengths. The good guys, even the loser brother, are a little too good. Nobody wants their source of sleazy humor to actually have a heart of gold. My only real complaint beyond that is that the medical details and jargon seem a little careless and melodramatic.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: Tighten it up. If this was just a little more focused on being entertaining and avoided those cheesy manipulative moments, I’d be a fan. Not every disease has to be a super obscure disaster, and the doctor doesn’t always have to ride in on a white horse to stop injustice and save lives left and right. If they made it a little more believable and emphasized the humor, it’d be a good show.

Instant Reaction: Nurse Jackie, “Daffodil” 6/06/09

This week on Nurse Jackie: Coop and Eddie get some toasted goodness from Quiznos.  Hellz yeah! Jackie helps a girl taking care of her sick mom. Also, a man rendered speechless by a stroke uses a flashcard to tell his wife to STFU.  On the whole, this might have been the most consistently entertaining episode so far.

Still, there are strange bits of slapstick comedy that I find jarring (Mrs. Akalitis tazing herself, for example). It breaks the reality of an otherwise believable show, and deflates the meaning more poignant moments. I’ve mentioned in past weeks that Coop (Peter Facinelli) is the comedic powerhouse of the show. Jackie’s nursing student, Zoey (Merritt Wever), is also beginning to provide a more subtle humor.  Both of these could be and should be used more liberally, especially in place of the lowbrow comedy that always falls flat.

The writers continue fumbling with both scale and pace. All of the major plotlines are in a holding pattern with no new developments. They were in a big rush to get the love triangle and daughter’s psych issues out, and now they’re dragging their feet.

And speaking of those psych issues, for a “medical” show, the psychology seems poorly researched.  Jackie’s daughter’s symptoms, which include obsessively watching tv news and circling her desk three times before sitting down so planes won’t crash, sound much more like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder than Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The dour drawings could easily be interpreted as depression.

Ranking the New Shows: #11 – Dollhouse

Fox’s “Dollhouse” was one of the most anticipated new series this year, but many feel it was lucky to be picked up for a second season. It lands just shy of the Top Ten on our list.

The show: “Dollhouse”
Synopsis: The Dollhouse is an underground organization that uses new technology to program “actives” – people that have had their personalities wiped – to fulfill a wide arrange of missions. Contrary to standard Dollhouse procedure, Echo (Eliza Dushku) seems to be remembering more and more of her pre-Doll life, while FBI agent Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett) races to expose the organization and save the girl.
Debuted: February 13, 2009
Our take: “Dollhouse” had a lot of problems before it even aired- a complete halt in production, a pilot that was canned (the original will be available on the DVD), and continuing conflict between the network and creator Joss Whedon. The final product reflects those problems. I spend a lot of my time watching “Dollhouse” trying to figure out what the writers are going for. What is the hook? What is it that they can’t wait to unleash on the audience? Nothing here really grabs me. Whedon’s previous work, like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel“, thrived on quirky humor and major plot twists. “Dollhouse” takes itself more seriously than either of those but doesn’t have the dramatic impact to back it up. The comedy primarily comes through Topher, the nerdy Doll programmer, whom finds himself so amusing it’s way more annoying than funny. The plot twists fail to surprise. I keep waiting for something bigger to happen, but the suspense is non-existent. Perhaps the biggest problem with “Dollhouse” is that the starring role doesn’t fit their lead actress. Dushku doesn’t have the chops to pull off a role that requires her to play a different character every week. She mostly winds up looking constantly confused. It’s highlighted further because the other two Dolls (Sierra and Victor) show tons of range and pull off a variety of characters convincingly and entertainingly. The writers addressed this issue somewhat after the first few episodes by simplifying Echo’s role and focusing more on side characters.
What it would need to do to keep me watching: “Dollhouse” has been a frustrating viewing experience so far, but I stuck with it through the first season, and I’ll give it a chance next year. The show did improve over the course of the first run of episodes, but I’m sticking with it more out of faith in Joss Whedon than anything the show has done.

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